It's a Celebration!

Chemo treatment: Yesterday was my sixth and final chemo treament. Hurrah!! It's hard to believe I've come this far. It doesn't seem that long ago since I was telling myself, "Patience, girl. You can do this." My appointment yesterday was for 10:15 a.m. I wasn't finished until 1:30 p.m., much later than I expected. It turns out that my nurse hooked up the drips but forgot to turn them on right away. I was sitting in my reclining chair in my 2-chair south-facing bay enjoying the warmth of my heated blanket, and of the afternoon sun. I hadn't noticed that the progress was slow initially because I was preoccupied with watching TV, reading, and visiting. I watched most of Regis and Kelly Live, read most of my book "The Four Agreements," and visited with my two companions in chemo.

The first person to share the space with me was Steve who works for Mental Health in Red Deer. He worked as a mental health counsellor for many years, and is now in management. When he completed his treatment I was joined by Ernie, a farmer from the Bentley area. He was adopted out as a child. His birth parents, from the Camrose area, have never wanted contact with him and he has felt the same in return. I shared my Joan story with him. Coming and going I ran into Errol MacIntyre and his wife (Cathy, I think) from Ponoka. I shared space with Errol on my fifth treatment. He was on the Ponoka Stampede Board for 35 years. His wife is a retired school teacher (Phys Ed) who still subs and is an avid golfer. She is looking forward to supervising a group of girls competing in golf in Phoenix later this year. Her costs will be covered by grant money available to this group. I also met Gord the pharmacist yesterday. He was sharing his enthusiasm regarding a book he purchased recently from Shopper's Drug in Rocky Mountain House. First he talked to the nurses at the station, and then to one of the patients he appeared to know. My curiosity got the better of me so I had to inquire what the book was called. It was a book called "Cancer is a Word, not a Sentence." I said that I had heard the statement but had not heard of the book. He said he purchased it because he knew the author Dr. Robert Buckman to be credible. I thought to myself, "I must check into that."
He then asked about my book. We had a nice little conversation. When treatment goes over the lunch hour we are served lunch. Yesterday was a lovely leek/potato chowder, half a ham/cheese sandwich and green tea.

The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz: I purchased this book some time ago but hadn't yet read it. I chose to take it with me because it appeared to be light, easy reading. I enjoyed Hal Urban's 2o Life Lessons but that is a lot to lessons to remember without reviewing. I liked the simplicity of only 4 agreements. I related very well to these agreements because these have already been guiding principles in my life, and it is always nice to have affirmation. Simply put the principles are as follows:
1. Be impeccable with your word, that is, be true to yourself and others. Be authentic. A quote from a book I read in my youth Notes to Myself comes to mind: "The surest way for me to have a bad time is to do something because I think I should do it." These shoulds don't always come from within.
2. Don't take anything personally. This reminds me of a quote of my favorite cartoon character from my university days, Ziggy: "Don't worry about what other people think of you. The truth is they are too busy thinking about themselves to think about you at all." That, of course, doesn't mean that we are uncaring people. It simply means that many/most of our actions are motivated by self-interest and we don't always stop to think how it may affect another person.
3. Don't make assumptions. Communicate clearly. Ask questions. This is especially important in our major personal relationships.
4. Do your best. Don't beat yourself up if you don't meet your expectations. Keep working towards your goal. I was inspired a number of years ago by a quotation by Mr. Bojangles who said he always danced his best, whether he was dancing before the Queen or he was dancing for a mere handful of people. I decided that I would always give my best even if I thought I was not being paid what I deserved. I would be thankful to have a job and I would give my best.

Shopping: After treatment I had about an hour-and-a-half before meeting my friend, Marilyn Martin, for coffee. What should I do? I had errands to run at Staples but I would do that on the way home. I could check out the cancer book at Shoppers but I didn't really have money to spend on it at this time. (EI sick benefits have run out and it is another couple of weeks until I receive any disability payment from Great West Life.) I decided to go to Value Village, a favorite spot through many years of low income. My girls refer to it a VV's. Marilyn calls it Value Village where the age rhymes with the age in corsage. How sophisticated!! I checked out the CDs and books. I always have to put many things back on the shelf because I typically find more than what I can afford! I came away with 2 CDs, and 7 books, two for Helge. One of the books I was very excited about was What you Really Need to Know About Cancer by Dr. Robert Buckman the author that the pharmacist Gord told me about. It is an older publication than the book he mentioned but I'm sure that much of the information is still valid. Every four books purchased at VV's earns a free one. That was my freebie.

Coffee with Marilyn: I hadn't spent time with Marilyn since last spring so it was a treat to meet her at City Roast for coffee and a shared piece of carrot cake. We only had a short time as she was on a break from work. We caught up on the news of our respective families. We plan to get together again soon so we have some chit-chat time. It is always a boost to have time with friends no matter how short!!

Brainyworks: Throughout my life I have been motivated by an insatiable curiosity. I was always asking questions. It exasperated my grade 3/4 teacher, Mrs. Gladys Simonson, to the point where she would say "What IS IT, Elaine? My grade six teacher, Mr. Lyle Erga, was not so troubled by it. He said that the reason I knew so much was that I was always asking questions. My brain doesn't feel like it's simply firing on all eight cylinders. It more often feels more like major fireworks. Not only am I consumed by my own interests, but I get consumed by other people's interests, and then their business becomes my business. Whether researching on the internet or shopping, I am thinking " So-and-so would be interested in this" or "I should buy this for so-and-so." How do I tame this wild brain? My parents recognized this early on when they provided me with a quiet study place, free of distraction. Here are a couple of my favorite strategies:
1. Origami. This has been my hobby for about forty years. When I am folding paper all other thoughts and worries disappear from my mind. Since I have had time off I am trying to learn many of my favorite folds by heart and to learn many new folds. In the springtime I am going to teach a workshop to Art Sparks, a craft group for disabled adults in Rocky Mountain House. I am also going to do some volunteering with my Granddaughter Madison's grade 3 class in Red Deer. On Saturday I am going to display my work at a Women's Showcase in Caroline.
2. Ironing. Believe it or not, this is one of my favorite activities! I especially like ironing Helge's beautiful cotton shirts. Over the years I have bought most of his shirts from Value Village. The six shirts I purchased most recently were in such great condition that they became "good shirts" and the past "good shirts" became "everyday shirts." No, I do not iron the "everyday shirts." Up until a couple of weeks ago I tried to get my ironing done early in the day so that I could take advantage of the natural light. Then I was delighted to discover one of Helge's good work lamps that he usually uses outdoors. I rigged up the lamp on a Monday evening. From 6 until 7 p.m. I listened to Roy Forbes on CKUA play never- before- released recordings of Hank Williams. For a whole hour my mind was focused on music and ironing. What a treat! (NOTE: In the past, particulary, I have frequently compared orgasm to all-encompassing fireworks but never felt the need for any taming there!!)

I got home early enough to make and enjoy supper with Helge. I had to stay up until 10:00 p.m. to watch Criminal Minds. I just can't get enough of those crime shows, an unhealthy obsession, my husband believes. I really am trying to limit what I watch. I got to bed after 11:00 but didn't get to sleep for another couple of hours. The nurses say that the anti-nausea steroids are responsible for that. Once I finally got to sleep I had a good rest. All in all, it was a great day!